


Finding Simon's Light

by Malec_Saphael69



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Asexual Character, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-04-03 21:38:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14005341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malec_Saphael69/pseuds/Malec_Saphael69
Summary: Simon is closing himself off from everything around him and Clary is over it.





	1. Cafe Meet ups

**Author's Note:**

> HI guys this is my first Fanfic. My friend had gotten into this and helped with me this so i hope you guys like it! Let me know what you guys think :)

~~~~“Simon, I will drag out of the house if I have to”

Clary was always like this with Simon because he had never left his room, she knew why, and she would give anything to see Simon's smile again.

“will you stop trying if I say yes?”

“Simon I’m doing this for your own good “

Simon sighs and finally agrees to go to the cafe they used to always go to for coffee and donuts.

“This place hasn’t changed in the past two years “ Simon looked around at the pictures of Sun Sets and skylines

“That’s why we love this place”

They order their usual, two black coffees with two glazed donuts.

“Simon, promise me something”

“Clary you know I would do anything for you” Clary grabs Simon's hand and squeezes it

“You and me, every Friday night, come here and get things back to normal. It’s been 2 years since you and Josh but I- “

“Clary I know I’m trying” Simon interrupts, he has heard this speech before.

“I miss him too Simon, but he made his choice and now you have a choice to make, stop hating yourself and lower those For Knox walls you have up…"

“Clary…” Simon tears up as he remembers the fun times he had with her. He knows she's worried about him and he hates how it hurts her to know Simon was closing himself off.

“Clary your right I’ll try harder alright” the happy times he and Clary used to have.He wipes Clary’s tears with a napkin

“Simon thank you for trying” She smiles at him. He could feel the love coming from Clary

“Like I said, i'd do anything for you"

She kisses Simon on the cheek and waves goodbye. Simon goes home and throws himself In bed and smiles for the first time in two years. They meet at the cafe every Friday for the next few weeks, one day before he left the cafe he had noticed someone in the corner of the cafe that reminded him of _him_ after the break up, devoid of all emotion, walls up and emotions buried deep down.

“Can you send a doughnut to the sad brooding guy in the corner with a note that says, ‘it gets better’, thanks.”

Simon leaves and looks through the window wondering if the note was given to the guy. The boy looks up searching the for the person who sent it, him and Simon lock eyes for a second before Simon smiles and leaves.


	2. New York Skyline

Months pass as Clary and Simon grow closer and Simon's walls start to come down.

“You’ve come a long way Mr. Lewis”

“I owe it all to you Ms.Fray"

They laugh, and begin talking about the months to come, recently Clary’s job promoted her and now she has go to L.A.

“New York is so much better than Cali” Simon jokes as Clary grows quiet  
“Clary?” 

“Huh?” She seems lost in thought

“What’s wrong?” Clary sighs and grabs Simon's hand 

“I don’t want you to go back to the closed Simon when I move.” Simon could feel sound of concern in her voice

“Clary I’ll be alright I promise”

“Are you sure because I don’t need to take- “

“Clary doesn’t be ridiculous of course you need to take this job.”

“Pinky promise me Simon please” They pinky promise

“I promise with all my heart that I will keep trying while you are in L.A”They hug for what seems like forever and then part ways.Over the next few weeks Clary and Simon talk on the phone every night for hours before bed.

“Work is great Simon I like the warm weather” They laugh, and Clary grows quiet

“How are you Simon, I was worried about how you were handling this big change’’

“I’m alright clary really it’s not as bad as you think.”

“I’m glad you’re alright Simon, I’ve got to go to bed now good night”Simon walk past the cafe where him and clary used to hang out at.

“One coffee shouldn’t hurt right?”

He walks in and orders the same black coffee and glazed donut and sits where him and clary used to sit. Before the breakup Simon used to write poems and songs and he figured that now that has in a better place he could start writing again,  
The waiter comes to Simon and drops a donut and says it’s from “the sad brooding guy in the corner thanks you for the donut you gave him earlier”

“Promise me you’ll be ok” clary’s words run through his head 

“Alright clary a promise is a promise”He picks up his coffee and paper he was writing on and walks to guy that sent him the donut. It takes a second for his nerves to calm down.  
“Hi” The guy must have not heard him  
“Um, donut guy?” The man looks up, he seems confused

“Um hi? Um did you want to sit down?”

“Yea that would be nice” They sit there awkwardly, both wondering what they should say next, but Simon speaks up 

“Hi, my name is Simon” The guy smiles

“Raphael’’ They shake hands, this awkwardness is so painful to witness

“Oh, yea thanks for the donut” Simon smiles

“Your welcome the look on your face back then reminded me of how I used to feel…so I thought it would at least make you feel better for at least a second” Raphael looks at the floor and then faces Simon

“My boyfriend had broken up with me for something I couldn’t control, and it was really hard, I wasn’t in a good place for a while”

“My friend dragged me here because I wouldn’t come out of my room”

“The red head?”

“Yea she’s in Cali, her job needed her to move and I wouldn’t let her stay.”

“I noticed you two pinkies promised something” Simon laughs and sighs

“She wanted me to promise her that I wouldn’t go back to the sad and depressed Simon when she’s gone”Raphael chuckles

“She sounds great”Simon smiles

“Yea she’s pretty awesome” Simon goes back to writing and Raphael goes back to drawing  
They sat next to each other for a few hours until about midnight. Raphael looks at his watch.

“Oh shit, moms going to be pissed, I got to go, it was nice hanging out with you though”

“Hold on" Simon gives Raphael his number

“I’ll call you sometime” Simon smiles and Raphael leaves, Simon gets upon and he realizes Raphael has his poem and Simon has is drawing. Simon looks at the beautiful New York skyline Raphael drew and is amazed at how artistic he is. Simon goes home and plops in bed and images of Raphael race through his thoughts.


	3. Mama Santiago

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We tried to fix the spacing but we couldn't figure out how so if it seems that things are a little too spaced out, that's why.  
> I decided to post the rest of the story since I've gotta start typing out my other stories. So enjoy while i get the other chapters squared away!

“Raphael Santiago do you realize what time it is?!” Raphael sighs

 

“sorry ma I lost track of time”

 

“you at should’ve at least told me that you were going to be late” She tussles his hair, has hated that since he was 5

 

“ma c’mon” She smiles

 

“what I love messing with your hair it’s so soft” He sighs and walks up stairs

 

“I’m going to bed ma” he kisses her on the cheek and goes into his room

 

“goodnight mijo” Raphael plops on his bed and reaches for his drawing and realizes its Simon’s drawing.

 

“oh dios mio” He grabs his phone and calls Simon

 

“yea I know you have my poem and I have your drawing “They laugh

 

“I can come by around 12 to switch them”

 

“that’s fine, my mom will be home, but I’ll be at work by 11so will be gone”

“alright good night Raphael”

 

“goodnight Simon” Simon leaves early in hopes of catching Raphael before he leaves but just misses him

Simon knocks on the door and a Mexican lady answers it.

 

“hello, may I help you?”

 

“yeah hi my name is Simon and when repeal left the cafe last night we switched our papers when he left so he said I could come by today to switch them.” She gives him the once over

 

“come in, I’ll go get your paper”

 

“thank you, I should be going now “She is about to say something but stops, Simon leaves.

 

Raphael can’t get Simons poem out of his head

“ _darkness comforted me_  
silence told me I’m ok  
loneliness was that I could count on  
then a light broke through  
telling me that darkness didn’t care about me  
I reached for the light and a hand came through  
I reached out for the hand and it pulled me closer  
I finally opened my eyes and saw your smile  
and I knew the light was coming from you  
pushing back the darkness that was holding me”

“Raphael?” it’s his boss

 

“are you alright?”

 

“uh yea just got some thing on my mind”

 

“alright just making sure” Raphael goes back to work and heads home when he’s done.

 

“hola ma” His mom is making dinner

 

“hi baby “he kisses her on the cheek

 

“oh ma?”

 

“yea?”

 

“did he come by today?”

 

“yea he came by today, he was nice, and he was pretty cute”

 

“oh, geez ma”

 

“just saying, I like him”

 

“yea I think I do too” They eat dinner while talking about their days and they eventually go to bed.

He grabs his phone and thinks about texting Simon.

 

“I can’t get to attached “He puts his phone down and falls asleep.


	4. Will you be my boyfriend

Friday comes, Simon goes to the café to see Raphael, but he wasn’t there.

“probably just sick or something” He gets a coffee to go.

2 weeks go by and he doesn’t see or hear for the Raphael, so he decides to go to his house.  
Simon knocks on the door and Raphael’s mom answers. Simon takes a second to calm down.

“is Raphael there? I need to talk to him” His mom sighs

“sit down with me for a second” Simon is confused but they sit down in the kitchen while Raphael is at the top of the stairs  
“is he alright?”

“yes and no he’s in-"  


“is he hurt? What happened?”  


“oh, dios mi, Simon relax let me explain” She takes a second for Simon to relax

“his last relationship really devastated him”

“what do you mean”

“he put everything into the last relationship he had, and the boy broke up with him because he Raphael didn’t give him everything he wanted.’’ Simon sits there

“that was five years ago and since then Raphael hasn’t been the same, he asked me to tell you this because he couldn’t face you”

“why not I thought he liked- oh he des and that’s why ye been distant…can I go to talk to him?”

“I’ll go gets him…I’m glad he has you Simon” Simon waits for what’s seems like an hour.

“just go talk to the boy he came all the way here”

“ma I can’t” She gives him the look all parents do when their ids don’t do what they asked

“oh, fine mom you win” Raphael walks down stairs

“Raphael, I understand but you shouldn’t push me- “

“Simon, stop I already know what you’re going to say, and I don’t have a choice.” Simon reaches for his hand, but repeal pulls away

“yes, you do Raphael, your choosing to keep up your walls and I get it, you don’t want to get hurt again but…”

“Simon…he broke up with me because I wouldn’t have sex with him because I’m asexual…” His mom was the only person that knew this about him until now.  


“Raphael, I don’t care about sex, I have thought about it with you but if you don’t want that then it doesn’t matter to me because…I really like you…” Raphael grabs Simon's hand

“I don’t know Simon…I like you but…”

“look Raphael I understand the hesitation…but I’m tired of feeling lonely and worthless…I don’t feel that way when I’m with you”

“your good at interrupting people” They laugh

“then I’ll say this and shut up…will you be my boyfriend?”

Raphael thinks, Is Simon the one? Can Raphael put his all into this? What if he doesn’t, how many Simons are out there?

“Yes” Simon smiles

“really? Are you sure?” Raphael grabs Simon’s face and kisses him gently

“we need to work on your rambling though” Raphael’s mom walks back into the kitchen

“finally, I thought you two would never get together” Simon laughs

“oh, dios mom” She laughs and hugs the boys who can’t help but to smile and look at each other

“who’s up for enchiladas? Simon?’

“oh, great I love Mexican” They all laugh, and the boys help make dinner.


End file.
